4. 180316

Been more than 11 days since I last saw you.

Just 13 days ago I thought I should give it all up. You, our memories, all these emotions I bear for you, everything. Told myself since you bumped into everyone but me on the street, you and I probably just aren't meant to be.

You left traces everywhere I go. Be it the way back home, the bus stop where you used to always tease me, the shopping mall we used to frequently visit or that bookshop. That bookshop where you spent most of the time trying to shake me off and I spent most of the time proving the fact that no matter where you are, I'll never fail to catch up to you and walk along your side - something I merely wanted to do, and still do. To stay by your side, as we both walk down the road named life. I'll be satisfied with merely being by your side.

You're just so sly. You'll send me a text or appear in my dreams even if we've not talked or interacted for a long time, every single time the thought of letting you go surface on my mind. It was as though you can sense my decision. But this time, however, you chose to appear in front of me instead.
Remember when I said: I'm confident that I can spot you even if we're in a crowd of people? I've proven my capability. But what made my heart wavered was the fact that you could, too.

Where we were was a platform with many people. There could've easily been someone else that was able to catch our individual attention. Yet as soon as I singled you our from the rest, your eyes have already landed itself on me.

Excitement and the loneliness I had while missing you rushed through my veins and the smile on my face, though my efforts to conceal them, were still insanely wide. When had it been since my smile was that sincere? Tried to prevent ridiculing myself from running to you, but I still couldn't help the fast and huge steps I took.

We talked about so many things. Your school, your hobbies, your trip to South Korea, and others. I wonder if you'll ever know of how my heart skipped its many beats at each smile and laugh you've shown? I wonder if you'll ever know just how wonderful it is for me who was so stressed out to immediately relax around you? I wonder if you'll ever know about how lost I can get in your soul when your dark, black orbs searched mine?

I wonder if you'll ever know just how alive I feel simply having you by my side?

Oh please, tell me why do you stare at me with such gentleness in your eyes? You clearly hold no intentions of returning the love I bear for you. So why? Is it because I'm different from the rest?

Countless of times I spent wondering exactly what am I in your heart. Yet I know, if I were to ask, you'll tell me I'm a friend. Yet I want a detailed description, of whether I meant anything to you in any point of the time we were together.

I wonder if you'll ever know how deep is my love?

Tell me, what dampened your spirit when you knew of the opposite directions we were going to go, please. Was it because you wanted more time with me?

Tell me, why is it that you looked as if you don't want me to leave and you stared at my leaving back with those scorching orbs that I love? Is it because you wanted me to stay?

Tell me, what exactly do you feel about the sudden meeting?

Tons of questions surrounded my head. Yet I've never asked any of them, knowing that you wouldn't have answered anyways.

Do you know how much my heart skipped when you grant me that precious smile while listening to each word I uttered?

Do you know how much your laughter pulled at my heartstrings, knowing that I'm the one who triggered your laughs?

Do you know about the urges I have to just hold you tight whenever you stare at me with such gentleness in your eyes?

Do you know just how much I want to tell you those words and kiss your lips?

All these emotions I bear that you've not felt or heard of.

My love for you can never die. That, is a fact that will never change no matter how I try.

I hope you will tell me someday, about what exactly am I to you. If you've never felt even the slightest feelings for me, then why is it that you looked at me with those eyes and expression?

Maybe you already know about this love I hold for you. So 'til you can return them, I'll wait,

Started 30 March
Completed 30 May